Over the August long weekend one of my cousins had a family get together in Enderby. They have a dairy farm right on the Shuswap river. It's beautify down there. They have eagles, heron, ducks and a small Bison Frise they have to keep safe from the eagles.
The night of the big bar-b-que - beef of course - a dozen cows decided to make a break for it. My cousin, myself, another relative distant enough I've forgotten her name and the Bison Frise hoped into the Yukon like a later day cow border patrol. Shades of Wallace & Grommet.
The cows, having won their freedom by discovering the electric fence was no longer electric, had made a run for it ... across the road. Well, more a dirt lane, really. The 200 square meter patch of grass there was presumably greener. Or maybe it was just ladies night out (they were hefers).
Amazingly, my cousin walked to where they were supposed to be, called out "ladies", and 3/4 of them wandered back. Three troublemakers started walking in the other direction, which was my queue to stand in the way and say "hep" in a very loud voice. The look of their face clearly demonstrated they weren't afraid of me, I can only assume they walked in the opposite direction to get away from the idiot making funny noises.
It was around this time they decided to start casually wandering down the lane. I started moving sideways to cut them off. They were troublemakers, the lot of them, and I didn't want to take my eyes off them. It was then I realized it had been a long time since I'd danced with cows on uneven ground.
Hello gravity.
The skinned knee and hands were impressive, if I do say so myself. While the scrape involved a large area, there wasn't a lot of depth. Road rash, plain and simple. But the cows didn't get away!
My cousin, bless her heart, described the event as me heroically diving in front of the herd to prevent them from getting away. One of my second or third cousins shared some drugs, prescription antibiotic cream, with me. And the children pointed to my knee, looked me in the eye, and said, "ouwy?".
And the ring leader's name? That would be Pansy.
Books:
The Gates to Witch World - Andre Norton
Movies:
Wedding Crashers
The Great Raid